Do I work or stay at home? Working Mom V/s stay-at-home-mom!
The excitement and apprehension of having your first baby
You just received the news for what felt like you were waiting forever – you are expecting your first baby. You can feel the transformation happening in your life – you are thrilled – and apprehensive about how you will smoothly handle this transformation in welcoming your new bundle of joy.
You are starting to think if you should continue working or if you should stay at home and take care of your child. Let me tell you, there is no perfect answer to that. And either choice you make has its pros and cons.
If you decide to work after you have a baby, here are some ideas you might want to try.
1. Get flexible hours at work
In this day and age of the Internet, you can work from anywhere and at any time. If your job allows that flexibility, you can consider that.
2. Check your work benefits
Your benefits at work might cover childcare options or extended time-off at least during the early periods of care caving for your child.
3. A relative who can take care of your child
If you have a relative who wants to take care of your child, the family bond will be stronger.
Having a child means transforming the entire lifestyle of the mother from A to Z. It means that you will be having extra responsibilities, but a responsibility that you will be more than happy to have. You will have to afford extra expenses. Still, you will be paying happily with an extreme thrill. You will be also making extra efforts. And definitely, you are going to feel thrilled no matter how tired you might be. Why? Because this is how every mommy feels. Welcome on board to the world of mommies where you will be with the only creature who wouldn’t make you feel bored, even when you are taking care of for 24/7. You are correct! It is your child.
No matter what mommies say, they cannot leave their babies behind, not even for a moment. No matter how tired mommies feel, all the tiresome turns into joy when they hear the word “mommy”. Or, when they feel the amount of love in their babies’ touches. Mommies want to stay all day long with their babies. Still, to offer their babies a better life quality, they consider going to work. Here, comes the important question: Is it better for my baby to become a working mom? Or, shall I stay at home to take better care of my baby? In other words, mommies question if the height is worthing the pain?
In fact, not all mommies realize what sort of pain they may suffer from, Whether this pain is emotional or financial, and most importantly, if there is even a pain!
To save you the time of guessing, there is no pain at all! There is only a wrong choice. And to save you all the confusion (and drama), here in Newborn Mart, we have decided to help you take an in-depth look into both lifestyles, in order to help you make the right decision based on what suits you the most.
First, the thrill of being a working mom:
A successful working mom realizes perfectly that “time is money.” She realizes that the more time she spends at work, the more money her child’s nanny would demand. Hence, she knows how to set the balance between her work time, and her family time, from one aspect. From another aspect, she realizes that her salary helps in giving better care and supplies for her child –or children.
In this pattern, there are some points that any working mom should pay attention to when considering the value of her work:
1. Does your work cover for the daycare expenses?
2. Does your work cover for your commuting expenses?
3. Does your work give you enough time and space to enjoy family time?
4. Does your work allow you to be there for your child in case urgent circumstances have occurred out of the blue?
5. Does your work allow you to have at least one decent meal with a decent talk with your child per day when he – or she- is able to talk?
If you are able to answer at least 4 out of the previous 5 questions with a “Yes”, then being a working mom is definitely an available choice for you and your child. So you might want to consider it seriously and give your career a chance. However, if the answer is “No”. Then, it may be better to reconsider your current position. You also have multiple options that may work really fine with you. For example, we have some tips that you may want to take a look on it. Who knows? You may find out your own way amongst these tips. Or, you might get inspired by them! Because our top priority is to help you set the right balance between your life as a worker and as a mom. This way will enable you from becoming a successful working mom. Here are the tips:
1. Try to get an exception from your work that suits your situation. For example, you may offer your company –as an instance- to give you a more flexible schedule. From one side, a schedule that shall enable you from having enough time for making breakfast, taking a bath, and giving your child a bath in the morning. From another side, it will enable you from picking your child from his –or her- daycare center, or school on time.
It may seem impossible for you, but you may be surprised by the fact that as long as you are a good worker, your company will do even “the impossible” to keep you. In addition to that, there is always that option of finishing the rest of the work at home. Then, sending it to your team manager by e-mail. A thing that is called as squeezing your schedule. As a result, you will be able to take care of both: your child and job perfectly. It is a win-win situation!
3. Why don’t you split the duties between you and the child’s father? This way, both of you will be able to take care of your work with respect to each other’s effort. In fact, if there is a possibility to switch your working hours, do it! This way will guarantee to have someone with the child all day long. Plus, to make your time with the baby goes easier, you may want to buy some safe toys for your baby. Toys keep babies busy while you finish some of your work or your house chores. And you do not need to worry about it, as it is a temporary situation and the three of you will be reunion again on weekends, and forever once the child enters schools because the more he –or she- grows up, the less you need to watch over their physical needs.
3. Try to Get a nanny! Getting a nanny means that you do not have to worry about preparing breakfast for your child, giving him –or her a bath, sending him to school, picking him- or her- from daycare, etc. As the nanny would take care of all these details. However, you need to pay attention to the fact that getting a nanny is more expensive than the daycare centres and the home daycare. According to the National Association of Child Care Resources and Referral Agencies, the average cost of the daycare centre is 11,666 U.S Dollars a year. As for the home daycare, it costs an average number of 6000 U.S Dollars. Still, a nanny would receive approximately 25000 U.S Dollars per MONTH.
This number may decrease for a good deal if the nanny is a house resident as she would be offered food and bed.
One last point to go, make sure you choose someone who’s appropriate and qualified enough to take care of your child. We surely cannot leave our child – especially if he or she is still a newborn baby – with someone stranger. Thus, you may install a CCTV to be able to know everything the nanny does to your baby. This way, you will be able to relax more, be more assured, and less stressed about how your baby is being treated.
4. If you are lucky enough to have a family member available to take care of your child. Then, you may save yourself the entire cost and the worry about the manner in which the nanny may treat your child or the programmes that the daycare will enable your child from learning. Most importantly, you will save yourself the guilt of leaving your child with someone who’s completely stranger.
5. Consider Taking a leave of your work for a year or two. Normally, the first year of the child’s life is the hardest one. It is the year in which your child needs you the most, from one side. From another side, it is the year that you would never want to miss. You –surely- want to hear the first da-da your child utters, witness his- or her – first attempt to crawl, the first trial for standing up, etc.
In addition to that, this one –or two years – looks like a perfect opportunity for you to get back to your shape again after the long months of pregnancy and the extra weight – fat or water – that you have gained. Simply, to be able to wear your same clothes for the company, or at least the majority of it- without having to buy an entirely new set of clothes that fits you.
Second, the benefits of stay-at-home mom’s type:
There is no doubt that being a stay-at-home mom gives you the ability to take care of your child and watch her –or him – for 24/7. You will be able to witness all your child’s sweet moment and be a part of it. Hence, you will have tons of memories to celebrate and remember. From another point of view, being a stay-at-home mom deprives your child from a more luxurious lifestyle. A lifestyle that your salary would have taken a huge part in availing. Hence, there are a few questions that you need to ask yourself before making your decision of becoming a stay-at-home mom:
1. Can you give up on all your ambitions regarding your career to take care of your child?
2. Can you afford the cost of staying at home without a salary?
3. Can you afford a decent lifestyle for your child in the long run?
4. Wouldn’t you blame your child in the future for the sacrifice you have made for him by letting go of your career ambition?
5. Wouldn’t you blame your husband for the humble lifestyle that you MAY have to accept in case you have one supporter for the family?
If you answer at least 4 questions out of these previous five questions with a “Yes”. Then, a stay-at-home mom’s type may be really beneficial for you. Still, it is definitely your choice to decide on which suits you perfectly. However, there are cases when you might think that you are lost in between. You need to prove yourself as a working woman, and as a mom as well with respect to both roles equally.
In this case, we would like to offer you a few tips that may help you in winning over both situations:
1. Is it possible to try a part-time job?
Such options will have a great effect on your life financially from all aspects. For example, you will be able to spend the biggest share of time with your child at home. From another perspective, you will be opposed to a great opportunity for earning a good deal of money. A thing that may help you improve the quality of your life, and your child’s life as well. From a third perspective, you will be able to give yourself a break from your childcare. So you will have more to give him in your time together. Hence, you would be able to escape the routine and take care of your own social life, even for a few hours per day.
It has nothing to do with being selfish but if you do not spare a while for yourself every now and then, you will lose all your energy faster than you expected. And in similar situations, a small beneficial job might work as a good charger for your energy, a nice mood switcher, a great way to indulge you into the real world with other people, and finally a saver for your wallet. As you might end up earning some money. When you make your decision, do not forget that: “you cannot drink from an empty glass.”
2. Why not Enter the freelancing market?
Freelancing means staying at home all the time to take care of your child while actually working. It is quite easy to find a work that takes a few hours a day. In fact, it will take from 2-3 hours per day. There are many fields that you can work in as a freelancer, such as: content writing, web designing, translation, financial consulting, event planning, etc.
As a result, you will be able to earn money – net money. Due to the fact that working from home saves you:
1. The childcare expenses, whether it is a nanny, a daycare or a nursery.
2. The commuting expenses.
3. The dress code fees, whether it is updating your wardrobe by buying new outfits, or dry cleaning to keep your outfit clean and neat.
4. The stress resulted from your work. To be frank, your work can give you a hard time. Such a hard time may reflect on the way you treat your child. So, instead of going to work to take care of your child, you might end up blaming your child for taking so much of your work time.
5. The guilt. All working mommies feel guilty for leaving their child –or children- for too long. Moreover, at some jobs positions, there are necessary travels. However, there are two scenarios:
The first scenario implies that the mom would feel guilty for leaving her child behind her.
The second scenario implies that the mom would miss the flight to take care of the child. As a result, she would feel guilty towards her work.
Simply, because we worry too much. We are human beings, and human beings seek perfection in spite of the divine truth that there is nothing called perfection. There is only satisfaction!
And do not forget that getting your child an attractive doll, toy or a game will make him busy with it for a good deal of time till you finish what you have on your plate! But make sure to choose a meaningful toy that shall help your child in becoming more intelligent.
3. How about establishing your own business?
Establishing a business of your own would definitely save you the strict schedule. Nevertheless, you will have to put a decent amount of money in establishing it in advance. Still, the outcome could be really great. You will be your own boss. So, you would never feel embarrassed for leaving early to pick up your kid. Not in the manner that you may feel when your colleagues catch you asking to take the day-off to attend your child’s school. It is an adventure, it is true. But, it worths the risk!
Examples of good fields to start your own business with are: a gymnasium, a childcare centre, a small restaurant, a candy shop, etc.
These examples are for things that your child can accompany you to. Hence, you will be relieved from the stress of leaving him –or her – behind when taking care of management.
A working mom Vs. stay-at-home- mom may sound like a completely financial comparison for you. To be frank, it is not true. Your passion also matters. Your financial situation plays a littile role in making the decision. Still, there are the emotional side and the practical side. But what matters the most is that: “You always have another option!”
If you would like to try both lifestyles, do it!
Judge by your own experience!
Share and let other mommies know how was it like!
Read More: https://newbornmart.com/blog/